Read this when energy vampires have you down

An energy vampire is a person who, intentionally or unconsciously, drains your emotional and mental energy, leaving you feeling exhausted, stressed, or anxious after interacting with them. They often dominate conversations, constantly complain, act as victims, or use manipulation, acting as "emotional sponges" that take without giving. (Google)

I have had a couple run-ins with energy vampires and so, I wrote this piece for myself as a way to respond better when dealing with the ever-draining encounters. I believe the points below will be just as useful for anyone else that needs a 'cheat sheet', if you would, on dealing with these people as it has been for me.

Of course the simple solution to dealing with an energy vampire (and you should aim to do this at all costs) is to just avoid them entirely. But for those who may live and/or work with one, you know that this is not always possible.

When energy vampires have you down remember:

- Whilst it may seem like it, they don't act this way (condescending jokes, comments, attitude, complaining) with only you. If you observe, they act this way with others too. It's just who they are. Other people can see who and what type of person they are just as well as you even though they may not talk about it.

- It may seem as though they're only treating you how they do because you might spend a lot of time with them and also may be the only person they're with the whole day (for the most part). This may lead you to believe exceptions are true.

- They're not someone you would consider a role model, nor are they in a position in life that you want to be in. Don't let people that aren't where you want to be in life tell you how you should live your life. Don't take criticism from people who aren't where you want to be in life.

- This is not someone that possesses qualities, beliefs, or attitudes you want in life so why would you let them tell you what's what?

- Energy vampires can't take your energy, they can only influence you to suppress your own energy and adopt theirs. Your energy is still, and always, your responsibility and therefore, in your control. Remind yourself of who you are and the energy you want to give off.

- Bad energy is easier to give off which makes it powerful in the short term. Good energy is more powerful overall, and so therefore it requires a lot of work to hone. But it will trump the bad energy in the long run.

- They may sound right but they're not, they're just confident. And confidence can be confused with competence when one acts bold.

- Any time away from them is a blessing.

- If you don't feel like you can be who you truly are around a person, then that person is not good for you, and you should aim to avoid that person at all costs. It's your life. It's your time. You have to deal with the consequences at the end of the day, no one else. Don't feel bad, or let anyone make you feel bad about living your life on your terms and being strict with your time and energy.

- Ask yourself 'Why does this deserve mental space in my thinking?' when something that happened is bothering you when you're physically away from them and the situation.

- Whilst we shouldn't blame others, if you feel uncomfortable or wrong for being yourself, maybe it's not you, maybe it's them. It doesn't feel wrong to be yourself around welcoming people.

- The people you want to be like will support and understand what you do and who you are. It's always the people you don't want to be like telling you how to live your life and what you should/shouldn't be doing. Listen to those on the playing field, not the spectators.